I think what's happening is a lot clearer here than it was before, and being able to see both characters certainly helps. I think the reaction time between the baby's expression changing back to neutral and the mother sniffing could be a bit shorter, but overall it's good that you have the baby doing his thing, then the mother. Both happening at the same time would be more realistic, but then the audience doesn't know where to look.
I would agree, this setup is much more clear. You're honing in on your story now, so that's good. Here are a few thoughts:
I would say to have your first shot not be a pure profile. Move it toward a 3/4, keeping more of the mom's face in favor of the baby, since she's the main character.
The timing at the beginning of the second shot is a bit quick where you are leading us back and forth between the two characters. Yes, the smell take probably comes late, although there is a missing element to this story. I would suggest you not focus so much on the smell, but on the bigger picture. Here's why...
If your main character is the mom, then as a main character, she needs to undergo some change. You have her happy and the beginning, sad in the end, and that works. I think you need to dive deeper into the mother character and think about "the moment before" and "the moment after". This mother has likely changed hundreds of full diapers. You tend to become immune to the smell, for the most part. But that's not to say that this event would not phase the mom.
Let's say that she's had a great day so far. She got out to the gym, planned meals for the week, her little guy has behaved so far today, she's feeling successful. The main thing on her plate is picking up groceries before the older sibling is out of school and needs to be picked up. Her little man yells for her and runs into her arms for a hug...which turns into a poo. And now she runs the risk of being late for the pickup, or missing groceries needed for dinner.
That's one of the most challenging parts of parenting. Sure, with nothing else on your plate, this blow out would be no big deal. But there's never just one thing. What does this event slow, stop, or prevent?
Now, I'm not saying that's a great setup, but it is a real world scenario. Coming up with your own scenario for what this event complicates will add to the acting, even if the audience can't guess exactly what. It will feel like there is more, like it's part of a bigger picture, and it will feel more real.
I still feel like the lady reacts really slow. if you held a baby and felt it tense up to poop, youde notice right away.
ReplyDeleteI think what's happening is a lot clearer here than it was before, and being able to see both characters certainly helps. I think the reaction time between the baby's expression changing back to neutral and the mother sniffing could be a bit shorter, but overall it's good that you have the baby doing his thing, then the mother. Both happening at the same time would be more realistic, but then the audience doesn't know where to look.
ReplyDeleteI would agree, this setup is much more clear. You're honing in on your story now, so that's good. Here are a few thoughts:
ReplyDeleteI would say to have your first shot not be a pure profile. Move it toward a 3/4, keeping more of the mom's face in favor of the baby, since she's the main character.
The timing at the beginning of the second shot is a bit quick where you are leading us back and forth between the two characters. Yes, the smell take probably comes late, although there is a missing element to this story. I would suggest you not focus so much on the smell, but on the bigger picture. Here's why...
If your main character is the mom, then as a main character, she needs to undergo some change. You have her happy and the beginning, sad in the end, and that works. I think you need to dive deeper into the mother character and think about "the moment before" and "the moment after". This mother has likely changed hundreds of full diapers. You tend to become immune to the smell, for the most part. But that's not to say that this event would not phase the mom.
Let's say that she's had a great day so far. She got out to the gym, planned meals for the week, her little guy has behaved so far today, she's feeling successful. The main thing on her plate is picking up groceries before the older sibling is out of school and needs to be picked up. Her little man yells for her and runs into her arms for a hug...which turns into a poo. And now she runs the risk of being late for the pickup, or missing groceries needed for dinner.
That's one of the most challenging parts of parenting. Sure, with nothing else on your plate, this blow out would be no big deal. But there's never just one thing. What does this event slow, stop, or prevent?
Now, I'm not saying that's a great setup, but it is a real world scenario. Coming up with your own scenario for what this event complicates will add to the acting, even if the audience can't guess exactly what. It will feel like there is more, like it's part of a bigger picture, and it will feel more real.
Keep going, I think you're just about there!
~Joe