I'm not really feeling the new cut you added. It feels like it happens too fast to really feel beneficial to the piece. I think you might want to actually just leave that out and have the whole scene be just one camera angle like you did before. When she turns around, it happens so fast that I'm sure would be impossible to actually do in real life. I'm also not sure why she put her hands up and into his hands or why she looks so scared when she turns around. If someone were to tap my shoulder for example, I would turn my head and a little of my chest and shoulders to see who tapped me. I wouldn't necessarily be super surprised and turn around really fast unless there was a loud noise behind me that startled me. You might want to give her a more casual look that shows that she is merely turning around because someone tapped her and not because of being scared or surprised. Just have her turn around normally because she isn't exactly feeling anything at the moment since all someone did was tap her on the shoulder. The last thing I would say is that you might want to frame the end cut more to show more of the girl's face because we really want to see her reaction to this strange man's offer. Also maybe her reaction wouldn't be so much as shaking her head, but more of "Did this guy really just say what he did?" Like a complete "HUH?!" face with the mouth raised a bit and maybe a little tense in the eye brows. What is really working in your piece to me is his anticipation before he taps her as he breaths in and gets ready to ask her his strange offer. It really sells that he's trying to ask this girl out or something and gives us the sense that he's getting ready to do so. Also the lip sync is fairly well done just a little quick snaps from key frame to key frame here and there that could use some smoothing out. His eye brow action really helps sell his lines as well. Its like his eye brows reflect and react to how crazy his own lines are. Overall great progression you have going here keep up the good work and keep polishing!
I'm not really feeling the new cut you added. It feels like it happens too fast to really feel beneficial to the piece. I think you might want to actually just leave that out and have the whole scene be just one camera angle like you did before. When she turns around, it happens so fast that I'm sure would be impossible to actually do in real life. I'm also not sure why she put her hands up and into his hands or why she looks so scared when she turns around. If someone were to tap my shoulder for example, I would turn my head and a little of my chest and shoulders to see who tapped me. I wouldn't necessarily be super surprised and turn around really fast unless there was a loud noise behind me that startled me. You might want to give her a more casual look that shows that she is merely turning around because someone tapped her and not because of being scared or surprised. Just have her turn around normally because she isn't exactly feeling anything at the moment since all someone did was tap her on the shoulder. The last thing I would say is that you might want to frame the end cut more to show more of the girl's face because we really want to see her reaction to this strange man's offer. Also maybe her reaction wouldn't be so much as shaking her head, but more of "Did this guy really just say what he did?" Like a complete "HUH?!" face with the mouth raised a bit and maybe a little tense in the eye brows. What is really working in your piece to me is his anticipation before he taps her as he breaths in and gets ready to ask her his strange offer. It really sells that he's trying to ask this girl out or something and gives us the sense that he's getting ready to do so. Also the lip sync is fairly well done just a little quick snaps from key frame to key frame here and there that could use some smoothing out. His eye brow action really helps sell his lines as well. Its like his eye brows reflect and react to how crazy his own lines are. Overall great progression you have going here keep up the good work and keep polishing!
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