Hi friends, here are my new storyboards. Still the same pooping baby story. This time I focus on the baby's
reaction when his mom asks him "are you poopy?"
the story starts with the baby playing his toys.
the story starts with the baby playing his toys.
All shots are mom's POV so we never see her whole body.
Do give me critics. Thank you
Do give me critics. Thank you
It's a lot more clear and to the point compared to the first version, so its definitely an improvement, and doing it from the Mom's perspective is interesting. The only thing I have to wonder is about the way you're splitting the dialogue. Do you have an audio clip of the mother just calling the little boy's name? Considering how much background noise the Youtube clip has, it would be very noticeable for you to play a bit of dialogue, then stop the audio, then start it again for the second line.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I don't think you even need that first line. You can have the mother get the little boy's attention in some other manner, such as waving, or just creative movement of the camera, so that dialogue isn't necessary.
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ReplyDeleteI like that it's now from the mom's perspective. I think it would be difficult to pantomime the baby already having pooed and the mom reacting without seeing her face, so in that sense I think the audio is important. But if we actually saw the process(poop action) happening and the baby's expressions and thought processes, and the mom's reaction through gestures, it could be a lot more simple and funny, if that's what you're shooting for.
ReplyDeleteJohn S.
Great comments. Definitely a creative idea to do the point of view of the mom.
ReplyDeleteWatch for twinning, there's a lot in these panels.
Since what you really want to take from the class is a well boarded piece, and of course to show your execution of the idea through animation, I think you really want to have a piece that reads without the dialogue. You want to tell us a little story. Beginning, middle, end. Right now, ignoring the dialogue, the visuals don't really tell me a story, and I don't really have an idea of what's happening.
What I see here is a baby stacking blocks who stops to give his mom a hug, and then runs and hides behind the blocks afterward. I don't know why (visually this is important), so I don't really get a story.
You can mute any good movie and still get the story, because guess what, we're visual storytellers. Audio (music, effects, and dialogue) are to add to the visual, not carry it.
The audio clip is cute, but I do think you need to make sure that everything happens in a way that makes sense for that audio clip AND tells a story.